Episode Recap
Wow, that first episode was a doozy! I feel less intelligent for having watched it. I took notes about the episode to recap here, but most of them are horribly inappropriate, so I'll try to keep it clean here. Did anyone else notice how many names are spelled incorrectly? Let me draw your attention to Alissa, Juelia, Reegan, And Kale, really?
I know that most of you feel my pain because several of you still haven't finished the episode. We have lots of pregnant ladies, sick ladies, and ladies with newborns at home, so we're all watching it at our own pace. As soon as I get everyone's final 3 picks, I'll send out the standings. Some of you are really gambling!
Cody-Code lingering in the corn fields was a little creepy, right? I know that Chris has to be in shape, but that was just too much for me. The obligatory tractor-riding, vacant building-sitting, and beer-drinking shots were inevitable, and I can almost predict the editing formula of each episode. "Okay, zoom in on her face and she sits under a tree in her hometown pondering life, then cut to the scene where she's happy at work, and then end with the shot of her running and pausing on the bridge to soak up this amazing opportunity she has at finding love."It's predictable, yet we all still choose to watch. At least we all have each other, right?
I love that they decorated the set with sunflowers instead of roses. I thought it was a nice country touch. I selfishly hope that we get lots of other country life thrown into this season. Maybe we can see Tara bring some respect back to the country girls of the world.
Let's chat for a moment about the red carpet. It was like an awkward middle school dance: everyone was taking selfies, standing within the camera's view, texting, wearing ridiculous outfits, and pretending like they were having really in-depth and meaningful conversations. We've seen enough of some of them after Bachelor Pad and Bachelor in Paradise, and they just need to move on with their lives. I hope they don't do that for the finale. I don't think I can stomach all of that again.
We can all look forward to a romp in a tent, some medical attention, girls that refuse to accept rejection, crying, fun facts about onions, lots of farming puns, and more crying. Can't wait!
Quoted
"Love is a lot like farming; you plant a seed, you hope it grows. Sometimes, the weather isn't always on your side, but, with a little bit of luck, something beautiful can come from it." -Chris Soules
"I wish I was a polygamist." -Chris Soules
"I think that love can feel a lot like flying. You know, because, when you're up, you're up, and you feel amazing, and you feel like you're just kind of soaring through the clouds, and you're on top of the world." -Alissa
"First of all, it's really hard to have a relationship that's, like, seen in the public eye." -Nikki
"We are definitely planning this year. Hopefully, in the summer time. Um, we're a little 80/40 on the exact date right now."-Lacey
"His smile? It's just a panty-dropper." -Amanda
"You can plow the fuck out of my field any day." -Kaitlyn
"Why did the walrus go to the tupperware party? Because he wanted to find a tight seal." -Kaitlyn
"Is alfalfa organic?" -Mackenzie
"I do not love that there's a million bitches inside this house right now." -Jordan
Points
THIS WEEK'S WILDCARD POINT CATEGORY: the first girl to make a farming pun gets 20 points!
Alissa: 30 points
- Giving Chris a gift (a seatbelt) (5 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Gives a gift (note) (5 points)
Amber: 25 points
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Giving Chris a gift (a penny) (5 points)
- Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
- Using the phrase “steal Chris away” during said interruption (5 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (by some miracle) (25 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
- Using the phrase “steal Chris away” during said interruption (5 points)
- Giving Chris a gift (“free hug” note) (5 points)
- Getting the First Impression Rose (35 points)
- Kissing Chris on the lips (10 points)
Carly: 30 points
- Singing for Chris (5 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Giving Chris a gift (mini-whiskey bottles) (5 points)
- Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
- Using the phrase “steal Chris away” during said interruption (5 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Wildcard Points Winner: First Gal to Make a Pun About Farming (20 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Dancing with Chris (5 points)
Kara: 25 points
- Crying on camera (25 points)
- Talking about an ex-husband (10 points)
- Mentioning a deceased loved one (10 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
Note: Kimberly doesn’t get points for interrupting or for saying “steal Chris away” because those rules only apply during one-on-one time
Mackenzie: 30 points
- Talking about her kid (5 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Talking about her kid(s) (5 points)
Nikki: 30 points
- Giving Chris a gift (a heart-shaped rock) (5 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
Samantha: 25 points
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Appearing visibly drunk (15 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Giving Chris a gift (the note from her students) (5 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
How is your team shaping up? Who are you hoping will be worth big points for your team?
Stay tuned for next week!
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