Recap
I think that Britt could single-handedly fix the drought problem in California. She's so dramatic, she has absolutely no emotional maturity whatsoever, and I'm glad that I follow her on IG because I can't wait to see who she eventually ends up with. She is trying so hard to be the next bachelorette, and word on the street is that the production staff really liked her. Do you think she'll be on Bachelor In Paradise?
Jillian might really be a man. I'm not sure what supplements she takes to sustain that kind of aggressive energy, but I need some before I call Living Spaces regarding my damaged furniture and customer service issues.
I love that Samantha called Kelsey out on her drama, blaming her for getting sent home. Samantha is such a pretty lady, and she seems sweet and intelligent, and it's a shame that she didn't go further. But, you know, if you're not all dramatic and overbearing at some point, you just fly under the radar. Poor girl...
Kelsey did absolutely nothing to redeem herself. I would love to read a psych analysis on her because I'm sure she has some interesting stuff going on.
It looks like Carly finally got a good eyebrow pencil, and I couldn't be more thrilled for her. She really had lots to say, and I think we can all agree that she was the unofficial narrator of the season. I'm sorry that she didn't take more ownership for animosity towards Ashley I. and Kelsey last night.
And speaking of Ashley I., she didn't really catch as much drama as I thought she would. She sure had some good facial expressions though, didn't she?! I think she has more muscles in her face that the average person. Or maybe that's just a virgin thing. Maybe if you don't use certain muscles, you allow your body to discover secret, hidden facial muscles.
Ashley S. is apparently THAT aloof. Or perhaps, she just can't handle her nerves in front of cameras. Either way, I think everyone needs a friend like her that can make you forget about all of your worries. She could be a really great therapy friend. You know, like a therapy dog. She could just follow you around, sense your nerves, and calm your tension with a light-hearted discussion about onions and cats. I really dropped the ball on the "wearing fake eyelashes" category last night. I'm really sort about that. Next year, y'all.
Chris Soules has a BLOG?! Well, sorta. He writes "Dear Diary" style at People Magazine.
Here's a link about his Bali trip.
Chris Harrison wrote a ROMANCE NOVEL?! I've had my suspicions about hidden cameras in the fantasy suites for a long time. I'm pretty sure he used the footage to inspire his novel. Although I'm curious, I'm not going to buy it. However, if I spent 88 minutes per week reading that instead of watching the show, I bet I could finish it in no time. Maybe we can buy one as a league and then pass it around. And have a book club. Who's in?
I still can't believe that there were NO previews for next week, there were NO audience questions, NO one addressed current boyfriends/side pieces, and NO one took a guess as to whom Chris would pick. Chris didn't ask Chris if he was happy, there was no mention of it being the most dramatic finale the Bachelor has ever had, and I feel a little let down by all of that. I guess nothing really beats telling the girl that you proposed to that you were just kidding and that you actually want the one that you sent home instead. I was horrified at the time, but in retrospect, that was some good television.
Points
Here are the (pathetic) points from last night's episode:
Ashley S. (25 points)
- getting a one-on-one with Chris (25 points)
Jillian (5 points)
- apologizing to Carly (5 points)
Kelsey (40 points)
- apologizing to Ashley I. (5 points)
- crying on camera (10 points)
- getting a one-on-one with Chris (25 points)
Britt (65 points)
- accusing Carly of being a liar (5 points)
- crying on camera (10 points)
- asking Chris why he got rid of her (15 points)
- getting a one-on-one with Chris (25 points)
Ashley I. (5 points)
- accusing Carly of being a liar (5 points)
Jade (40 points)
- accusing Britt of being a liar (5 points)
- crying on camera (10 points)
- asking Chris why he got rid of her (15 points)
- getting a one-on-one with Chris (25 points)
Carly (20 points)
- accusing Britt of being a liar (5 points)
- crying on camera (10 points)
- apologizing to Britt (5 points)
Kaitlyn (60 points)
- admitting that she still has feelings for Chris (20 points)
- asking Chris why he got rid of her (15 points)
- getting a one-on-one with Chris (25 points)
Let me know if I missed anything!
